Stress: Your Mental Perceptions. So How Can You Cope?

Stress: BLAH! For the most part, not many of us can claim to be non-stressed. Perhaps in a single moment, your perception of the world and yourself does not include an overpowering feeling of stress, but surely, as your day proceeds, you can notice at least some experience of stress. Some people proceed through their days in a constant state of feeling "stressed out". Even "good" things can create an experience of stress that perhaps we consider to be "good" stress. I don't suppose "good" stress is something worth trying to change. Rather, it's our experience of "bad" stress that we all need help coping with. Stress inevitably leads to ill-health that can manifest as minor aches and pains, colds and flu (since stress depletes the immune system), chronic conditions and even degenerative illnesses. It is estimated that 90 per cent of illnesses and disease are related to stress - no kidding!

So where does stress start? Stress is a mental perception, so I do believe that it starts within our mental faculties of being. For example, when Caleb (my son) throws his food on the floor, I perceive stress, which I feel physically and that sometimes gives me a feeling as though I'm going to explode in anger (as embarrassing as that is for me to admit, let's be honest here). Meanwhile, I see how Caleb's dad interacts with him, and he is very laid back and non-reactive while Caleb throws his food around and makes a mess: he simply lets Caleb know that that's not okay, and proceeds with life. In reality, nothing is being altered to the point of negatively affecting my life nor is anyone being hurt when Caleb throws his food on the floor, so why do I perceive stress? Well, my mom keeps a very clean house and has always spent lots of time and energy maintaining that and clearly perceiving stress when it's not that way. Now, before proceeding, let me clarify that I adored my childhood, I love my mother dearly and I know damn well that we, as parents, do the very best that we can with the resources that are available to us in each passing moment. I say all that in order that it doesn't seem that I'm placing blame when I say that surely, that's where my mental perception of: messy house = stress, is coming from.

Now, I realize that changing the mental belief that a messy house is stressful is what is really necessary in order that this not ride me like it does. I mean, Caleb's a toddler and I best be getting used to messes if I want to proceed through his childhood with ease and minimal stress. In the meantime, I need to focus on how I can cope with my perception of stress in response to Caleb's creating messes. There are many ways of coping with stress to the best of your ability. At the end of the day, the fact that stress is a part of daily living is not going to change, it's OUR way of coping, thinking and behaving that is subject to change. I'm going to encourage you to start with deep abdominal breathing. For a more in depth explanation, please check out my most recent column: Take A Deep Breath... for SEE Magazine. For a video on how to do deep abdominal breathing and for more tips and ideas on how to reduce your stress, please check out The Ultimate Stress Seminar: this also offers you the opportunity to sign up for Kristi and I's upcoming FREE teleseminar dedicated to helping you live an easy and stress-free life. Finally, for help with changing your thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you stressed out (ie: messy house = stress), please check out Goal Ninjas: Kristi's passionate pursuit to lead you on a journey towards the life you crave!

What are your most regular perceptions of stress? What are your best ways of coping with perceived stress? Your comments are really important to us, so do us a favour and leave one...or two...or more! We want to hear from you!

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic