Boundaries: A Story of Transition and Personal Growth

I had a very intense and transitional experience recently that I'd like to share. My son has been in care at a day home ever since I returned to work in February 2010. While at the outset of arranging care all seemed perfect and wonderful, things have progressively gotten "bad". I've realized that there are core values that myself and my care provider don't have in common. Since that realization, it's been a slow road of first acknowledging that truth and then doing something about it. 

In the summertime, my care provider suggested that we might be happier elsewhere where our needs would be better met. Amazing that it was her suggestion and not mine, even though I had thought of it many times. I started looking for alternate childcare facilities and got myself on 2 waiting lists for places that really fit what it is that I'm looking for for myself and my son. After confirming my spot on these 2 waiting lists, I felt pretty discouraged. It's a lot harder to find appropriate childcare in Edmonton than I ever imagined. I felt bound to the day home and proceeded by trying to be as positive as possible, despite feeling like my values were being compromised every time I arrived there to drop my son off. 

Most recently, an incident occurred that made me feel extremely uncomfortable and as though my son's welfare was being compromised - maybe in ways that I wasn't even aware of. In anger, I wanted to pull my son out of this person's home right away, never to return, but I didn't. I went back to the drawing board with the intention of exhausting my search for alternate childcare. I first checked in on the status of the 2 waiting lists, only for God to reach down and bless us with an opening for November 1st, specifically in my son's age category, at the bilingual Montessori childcare center 5 minutes walking distance from our home! After that was settled, I had a gnawing feeling in my gut - I felt so uncomfortable bringing my son back to the day home. But I did. 

On Friday, I called home to Grande Prairie to see if I had any other options, ie: if either of my parents could come spend some time in Edmonton to care for my son while I continued to go to work. My dad offered to come and yet, I was still on the fence. Why? In my head, I knew that the best thing to do was to pull my son from care at the day home, but I couldn't integrate that into my body to gain confidence around that possibility and I had immense guilt at the thought of doing so. My son has been under care at this home for a year and a half and all people are inherently good, aren't they? And people make mistakes and are allowed to make mistakes, isn't that true? On Friday night, after doing a meditation to gain clarity on which direction to take, I knew what I had to do - pull him from care for the last 2 weeks until he started at his new daycare - but the guilt was almost paralyzing! I thought I had done so much personal work around guilt in my life and yet, here it was, glaring me in the face and clubbing me on the shins.

Starting on Saturday morning, I decided to take Pink Yarrow (a flower essence) - 1-2 drops every 1-2 hours to try and speed emotional catharsis around personal boundaries. Pink Yarrow, specifically, is for those who tend towards taking responsibility for other people's feelings and experiences, thereby having a difficult time establishing emotional boundaries. I also implemented Emotional Freedom Technique and Kit Furey's methods for clearing. Late Sunday afternoon, my personal clouds started to clear and I felt more protected around my heart center. I recognized that this comes down to something as simple as the fact that parents and childcare providers absolutely ought to be on the same page, and we weren't. That, in itself, was enough reason to remove my son from care. Today's his last day.

There are a few points to this story:

1. I'm really in to gross honesty lately. As in, honesty that's potentially embarrassing. More than anything, this is regarding my being honest with my own self, something I've historically had a hard time with. As it relates to this story, let me say that I always - ALWAYS - thought that I would do ANYTHING in the moment to protect the welfare of my child. And I didn't. This points to the fact that whatever our core issues are - one of mine being poor establishment and maintenance of boundaries - no single person can change or improve those issues for us, just as we have no power to affect others' issues. While I thought that becoming a mother would resolve so many of my core issues, it's been my own decision to pursue personal work and activities that stimulate personal growth that has actually brushed the surface of rectifying any of my core issues. My son's presence in my life, alone, has done nothing to make me a better person. That being said, his presence has stimulated me to want to be a better person in order to set a positive example and, as a result, I've pursued many avenues towards change. 

May we stop claiming that "when I become a parent" or "once I'm in a fulfilling relationship" or "once I earn more money" etc. we will be happier and better people. All we have is now and the only one in your life with enough power to create change is you.

2. This p0int brings a side story to the table. I've been struggling with a recurring infection for some time. Being that it's a skin infection, Kristi recently mentioned that issues with skin point to boundary issues. Of course they do, our skin is the physical boundary on our bodies that protects us from the outside world. As things escalated with the childcare situation, the infection recurred, even after having taken a round of antibiotics - something I'm strongly averse to doing. As of today, all symptoms of infection are gone. This points to the fact that physical issues are not just physical. I am always in amazement at the miracle of holism. As I addressed and attempted to heal issues as they relate to emotional b0undaries in my life, the physical ailment that energetically related to boundaries resolved itself. 

May we recognize that every "issue" is a multi-layered one and may we seek to explore more than just the physical components of everything we feel challenged by. By this exploration, may we enjoy all the more personal growth and improvement.

3. Flower essences rock. They really do. They are the most subtle and yet the most profound therapeutic method I have EVER had the complete pleasure to work with. They are my favorite healing modality to facilitate for others and to experience personally. As you ingest flower essences, they open up amazing portholes of realization that you may never have dreamed were even possible. I like to refer to them as "counselors in a bottle". This comparison speaks to how a counselor's job is to diplomatically point out blind spots - parts about ourselves that are very real and that may undermine the true and highest expression of who we really are, but that we are consciously unaware of. The difference between a counselor and a flower essence is that flower essences stimulate your having these blind spots revealed to you in and of your own self - with a supporting role from God or the universe, of course. This makes the awareness process more empowering. 

May we open our hearts and our minds to modalities as profound and beautiful as flower essences, that they may enrich our journeys towards discovering and thereby bettering our own selves. And, as you read this, may you allow me the honour of living out my life's passion by sharing your story with me and gifting me with the opportunity to create a flower essences blend JUST FOR YOU.

If you feel you have any blockages you'd like to explore via flower essences, I would be absolutely tickled pink to hear from you. Thank you so much for reading.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

The Insight Inspired by Henry and the Chipping Cheddar Witch

Lately, my son's favorite DVD to watch is Angelina Ballerina - a young, British mouse wrapped up in her ideals of being a prima ballerina. I pretty much have all 4 stories on the borrowed DVD memorized. One of the stories is a Halloween story centered around an old, local tale about the Chipping Cheddar witch - Chipping Cheddar being the village Angelina and her family live in. Briefly, the tale states that the Chipping Cheddar witch shows up and turns the mice into stinky cheese. Angelina's father is telling the tale to Angelina, her friend Alice, and her cousin, Henry. Henry attaches to the story, later becoming convinced that he sees the witch when, in actual fact, it's Angelina's ballet teacher, Miss Lily, dressed up as a witch for Halloween. Henry becomes very worked up, enlisting the help of their friend William to track down the Chipping Cheddar witch and stop her from turning the village inhabitants to stinky cheese. William becomes convinced when at one point, they go to the village shop and when they don't see the shop keeper but instead see a big chunk of cheese on the counter, they assume the witch has done her nasty deed there, turning the shop keeper into stinky cheese. Of course, at the end of the episode, Henry and William realize that all the while, it's been Miss Lily dressed up as a witch and that the story is just that - a story.

A couple mornings ago, as I was getting ready for work, I listened to this particular episode play out in the living room and it got me to thinking. The Chipping Cheddar witch episode is very reflective of what we all do on a regular basis - make up stories in our heads and then create evidence all around us to prove our stories to be true. We are so much like Henry who, being so taken away by the story, walks out of Angelina's house, sees Miss Lily's witch hat sticking up above the fence posts and assumes that this must be none other than the Chipping Cheddar witch! From there, just like us, Henry fabricates all the more drama, visiting the village shop, seeing a chunk of cheese and no shopkeeper and building on the story all the more. Meanwhile, the shopkeeper was in the back, only to come out after Henry's departure and wonder what the noise had been all about.

I can think of so very many examples of how I've done this in my own life, and I'm sure you can relate too. Here's one: while I have only ever wanted a committed and loving primary relationship, based on some life experiences, I made up a story in my head that men only ever wanted to use me and that "all the good men are taken". What ensued was a barrage of non-committal men in my life who always left me waiting and wanting for more, when they'd never intended to pursue anything permanent with me to begin with! Because I'd established this story in my head, my being proceeded to find evidence of what I was telling myself was true and you can just guess how every single scenario played out as I met men over the years. Amidst this evidence, I also received the grandest of blessings in the form of my gorgeous son, not to mention all the personal growth that has happened as a result of my old, limiting belief. These days, I realize that there are plenty of men out there who are equally deserving of a committed, loving relationship as I am and that my trust in the success of my own life's journey will inevitably bring my belief to fruition...alongside some action, of course (see Calling In The One link below).

My own life is not the point but serves as a great example. The point is that you will always strive to prove yourself right when it comes to that which you believe to be true. If you believe that you always hit all the red lights when driving, then you will. Funny thing is, you might hit 4 out of 7 red lights, but you will be focused on those 4 red lights instead of those 3 green ones because of what you maintain in your thoughts. If you believe that the world is out to get you, then it will be. If you believe that all the good men are taken, then you will surely find a way to show that this is in fact true. If you think you are undeserving, then you will be. If you think that you're fat, then you will be. And if you think that the Chipping Cheddar witch is walking around in YOUR neighborhood, seeking to turn all your friends and family into stinky cheese, then she will be!

Thank you to author Katharine Holabird, creator of Angelina Ballerina and to her character Henry for reminding me of the power of thought and the intensity of what can happen when we so vehemently attach to something we believe to be true. 

I - again - have to cite a few different sources that have helped me to start shifting and changing the stories in my head. If you find that your stories are making for a challenging reality, help is available! Might I suggest that you scope out any or all of the following:

1. Kristi's Goal Ninjas programs
2. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) (which we offer here at Prana Holistic)
3. Flower Essences therapy (which I would be happy to facilitate for you here at Prana Holistic)
4. Kit Furey's work
5. Anything by Byron Katie
6. Calling In The One, by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Thank you for reading.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Michael Kalmanovitch: An Inspiration For Change

In April this year, I got to spend some time interviewing Michael Kalmanovitch - owner and founder of Earth's General Store here in Edmonton. While the purpose of the interview was to prepare a piece for print, it never got published, which I always thought was a shame. A shame because it's a good piece but more so because Kalmanovitch is deserving of every bit of publicity he gets. After reading Prana's most recent monthly newsletter in which Earth's General Store was mentioned, I decided that I'd very much like to share my original piece on Kalmanovitch, so here it is:

Michael Kalmanovitch displayed his usual, friendly demeanour when I met with him on an overcast Monday morning, inviting me to sit in the quiet corner of his store that is the library - an impressive collection of books and DVDs on social justice issues. I’ve long been a fan of Kalmanovitch’s establishment, Earth’s General Store, located at 9605 82^nd avenue. I first stumbled upon it at the old location, above Gordon Price Music on 108^th street and 82^nd avenue. I love visiting Earth’s General Store, so much so that in the past, I hauled my son up the many stairs to the old location in his stroller and back down again just to browse. Kalmanovitch was equally friendly back then, once offering to help me down the stairs with the stroller and often engaging in small talk. Modest and unpretentious, you’d never know he was the owner unless he told you so.

Kalmanovitch was born in Sarnia, Ontario, spent his teenage years on the Isle of Wight in England, and moved to Edmonton in 1973 for a summer job. Kalmanovitch doesn’t hesitate to tell me that from then, he worked in the oil sands in Fort MacMurray until 1977, after which he pursued work in the heavy equipment, mining and warehousing industries. His honesty is a reflection of authenticity and testament to what he stands for the most – change. 
Kalmanovitch’s personal movement towards change began when he was about 12 years old and perceived that his house was "lit up like a Christmas tree" - this had a profound affect on him. In 1969, he moved back to England where he contributed to gathering coal for his and his family’s energy needs. His actual change in consciousness really began to take hold when he read Canada as a Conserver Society, a report published by the Science Council of Canada over viewing the importance of implementing more sustainable policies for the future. Throughout the 80s, Kalmanovitch got into composting and bicycling as his primary form of transportation. In 1986, he got involved with the Edmonton Bicycle Commuters. In and around that time, he was doing workshops on a well-rounded approach to a more environmental lifestyle for the Environmental Resource Centre.

This brings us to 1990, a year that Kalmanovitch calls the start of the “second wave of environmentalism”. It was the 20^th anniversary of Earth Day, which drew in record numbers of interested earthlings. Kalmanovitch reflects, “People were hungry for the shift, realizing that we are all consumers and a lot of consumers are looking for better options”. At this point, Kalmanovitch drew up a plan for Earth’s General Store, which he conceptualized as being “a tool to help create change”. Earth’s General Store opened in 1991. The store had “tough times” and Kalmanovitch worked in Nunavut as a mineworker to make ends meet. The tough times have morphed into a flourishing and effective business that has expanded over 3 times its original size.
 
I asked Kalmanovitch how he stays grounded in the midst of city life and within a society driven by consumerism, to which he responded, “I don’t”. He explained that, “if I let it all in – all the sadness – it will kill me”. How then does Kalmanovitch deal with “all the sadness”? Action. Kalmanovitch affirms that “the antidote to sadness is action” and he’s always taking action. These actions don’t have to be huge to have an impact. Kalmanovitch is a firm believer that little changes can collectively affect the whole. He mentions the Hundredth Monkey Effect, a phenomenon that explains the potential for shifting of the collective consciousness once a portion of the population achieves a particular awareness. According to Kalmanovitch, small things we can all do to impart big change are composting, picking up litter, avoiding idling, which he considers to be “crippling”, “pre-thinking” by always carrying your own travel mug and bringing your own plate and cutlery to events like Heritage Days, sharing, so as to reduce consumption, eating organic and buying locally. Most stirring is Kalmanovitch’s suggestion that the greatest small move of all is to, “of course, love lots more. Because with love comes caring, compassion, empathy and nurturing.” 
 
Kalmanovitch speaks passionately on the topic of politics, throwing in a couple expletives to express how mind-boggling he finds politicians’ salaries to be when “they’re not even doing a good job!” On this note, we discuss that if he could rid the world of one thing, it would be avarice, which is defined as insatiable greed. Kalmanovitch is most offended by avarice at the expense of others. He encourages people to vote so as not to perpetuate the disenchanting status of our current political platforms and aspires to adopt a more positive approach, possibly even getting involved one day.
 
Considering Kalmanovitch’s ultimate sense of purpose, to inspire change, he can be proud of the impact he’s had in Edmonton. With many Edmontonians visiting Earth’s General Store and sharing how they’ve changed because of the store, Kalmanovitch will be missed if he decides to relocate to Ottawa where he believes he can influence even more change. Regardless of where he goes, based on the Hundredth Monkey phenomenon, Kalmanovitch’s efforts will be lasting and reverberate throughout the collective consciousness of Edmonton and beyond.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Killing Crazy Candida!

I've had quite a few clients recently report that they've struggled with chronic yeast infections over the years. Most recently, when I shared with a client how I eradicated chronic yeast in the past, she reflected on how my methods might be ones she'd be interested in pursuing as she gets really annoyed with taking the over-the-counter remedies, especially since they mess her system up for a few days afterwards. In deed, taking over-the-counter remedies like Canesten, Monistat, and the one-day oral remedy, Diflucan, are all solutions to riding yourself of symptoms of a yeast infection, but none of them relieve the root issue of the infection.

When you're at a point where you're getting frequent yeast infections, it means that the bacterial balance in your body is thrown off. There is an abundance of "bad" bacteria in the system and this "bad" bacteria has overthrown the "good" bacteria, creating a breeding ground for bacterial infections such as yeast. The source of the bacterial imbalance is in the digestive system and, if left untreated over time, the "bad" bacteria becomes systemic in nature, meaning that it's now traveling throughout your system and manifesting itself as a yeast infection, athlete's foot, jock itch, thrush, bladder infections and cystitis (irritation and inflammation of the bladder), skin rashes in skin folds including diaper rash, toe and fingernail fungus. Besides these more obvious manifestations, there are a plethora of symptoms related to systemic bacterial imbalance, commonly called candidiasis. Some of these symptoms include: sensitivity to smells, difficulty concentrating, intense sugar cravings, itchy skin and skin problems like acne and/or eczema, headaches, digestive problems and discomfort such as gas and bloating, chronic exhaustion, irritability, anxiety, rectal itching, depression, low sex drive, sinus problems and sore throats. The reason this bacterial imbalance happens at all is due to overuse of antibiotics and/or corticosteroids, both of which kill off the "good" bacteria in the gut and compromise the immune system, poor diet and lifestyle such as excessive consumption of alcohol, simple sugars and starches. Bacterial imbalance has also been associated with the use of birth control pills.

I'm here to tell 'ya to ditch the quick fix over-the-counter remedies! The only thing that will permanently rectify your chronic yeast problems is a candida cleanse with accompanying herbs and a lifestyle change! Yes, that's right, once again I'm the bearer of challenging news - there is no overnight solution to chronic yeast. The solution is doing some work over time. I did my first candida cleanse about 10 years ago and, knock on wood, I haven't had a single yeast infection since! When I DO get a slight twinge of one or some other symptoms that point to yeast, I alter my diet and use herbs to clear it up.

Here are the basics of a candida eradication program:

1. Only take antibiotics when absolutely necessary.
2. Use probiotics every day. Probiotics are healthy strains of bacteria in capsule format that will help to re-populate the "good" bacteria in the digestive tract.
3. Pursue a strict diet that eliminates all sugars and yeasts, including natural sugars as found in fruits and colored vegetables like carrots (basically any vegetable that's not green or white).
4. Take herbs that are anti-bacterial in nature that will work to kill off the "bad" bacteria.

Here at Prana Holistic, I do cleanse counseling, where I tailor make a cleanse just for you including herbs uniquely suited to your needs. After the cleanse is made up, I also provide guidance for you upon your cleanse program, meeting with you weekly or so in order to answer questions and offer support during your process. I would be happy to help you get rid of a build-up of "bad" bacteria in your system in order that your body function more optimally. If you suspect you have candidiasis, please give us a call today to set up your cleanse consult and/or your cleanse counseling package. 780.454.5299

*Please note - there are a lot of schools of thought on candida cleansing and you will find many on the internet. The cleanse guidelines that I offer each person are based on my own personal research, experience, my education in the field and a collection of opinions from my teachers and other trusted and reputable practitioners.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Doing The Work

I am pursuing yet another of Kristi's Goal Ninjas programs, Get More Sh-t Done. As an accompanying gift to those enrolled in the program, Kristi gave out the book Do The Work, by Steven Pressfield. I am on my second time through this awesome little ditty and am beginning to get more and more of a grasp on what it really means to do what it is that you actually want in life. Seems like it should be so simple - you want to do something that you know makes you happy, you do it, you're happy. End of story. Yeah, not so much. At least not in my world. My story goes more like this: I want to do something that I know makes me happy (let's call it "my goal"), I fantasize about it, I make up stories as to why and how I probably can't achieve my goal, I do some personal work to heal and improve myself, I start taking risks and making some moves towards my goal, I get on a roll, I'm feeling great and getting closer to my goal, I'm doing good so I tell myself that I deserve "a break", I start to slack off on doing the work, I fall completely off the wagon, I wallow in self-defeat, self-deprecation and self-loathing, I struggle for what feels like a long time to get back up, dust myself off and do more personal work to heal and improve myself, and the whole cycle starts all over again.

I am in the midst of repeating this cycle yet again in my life and am at the "struggle for what feels like a long time to get back up and dust myself off" stage, and dealing with some residual self-defeatist and self-deprecating thoughts and behaviors. I can tell that despite my repeating this redundant cycle, I've definitely progressed in the big picture because I have absolutely no desire to feed energy to the completely falling off the wagon and wallowing in my own crap stages. Previously, I would talk about my seeming failures as though they were a pervasive disease - and I suppose they can be if we spend too much time focusing on them. Of course, talking about my falls and the accompanying self-loathing only works to make those things persist. Just last night, I heard myself say: "I'm so sick of hearing myself talk!" - this was with regards to the potential of talking to anyone about what I have recently perceived to be a failure in my life. At this rate, I'd rather just do the work, which is what Pressfield's book is all about.

The stages of my cyclical story from "I'm doing good so I tell myself that I deserve "a break" to "I struggle for what feels like a long time to get back up" are all about resistance. AND, resistance is completely normal! Hurray! I'm "normal"! Pressfield notes that resistance is "most commonly elicited [in response to]...any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity." So...perfect, right? Anything we seek to do that is "good" and that seeks to improve ourselves will be met with incredible resistance. Sounds daunting. Part of me just wants to hang up my self-improvement kit and call it a day. For good. The other part of me is finally showing a desire to rise to the challenge. At the very least I can know that based on the amount of resistance I'm currently experiencing, I'm on the right track. Pressfield's "Rule of thumb" confirms that I'm on the right track: "The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it."

Pressfield does a really good job of letting readers know that failure is not only normal, but a good sign. I mindfully wiped my brow when I read the following that absolutely deserves to stand on it's own:

"A crash means we have failed. We gave it everything we had and we came up short. A crash does not mean we are losers. A crash means we have to grow. A crash means we're at the threshold of learning something, which means we're getting better, we're acquiring the wisdom of our craft. A crash compels us to figure out what works and what doesn't work - and to understand the difference."

And the final point? Do the work. And keep doing the work. Keep getting up and brushing yourself off. Keep pursuing personal work to heal and improve yourself. Don't give up.
I've often wished there was a more glamorous final point. Something more along the lines of: pass go, collect $200, sit on the beach with a margarita and your goal will fall at your feet. But oh no, pursuing your unique calling and your personal and lasting happiness is like being 21 and working 3 jobs to save up to go traveling - you never rest. But once you get to Europe, it's all the more wonderful 'cause you did the work to get there! It was hard and long and you were tired, strung out and uncomfortable, but you did it! (Well I did anyways and in deed, Europe was awesome.)

If you'd like support doing your work, I'd certainly suggest investigating any of Kristi's Goal Ninjas programs as well as Steven Pressfield's book, Do The Work. Beyond those resources, there are a wealth of things you can do to heal and support yourself as you move more and more authentically towards the life of your dreams. Give us a call at Prana Holistic today to explore your options.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Toxins Are Making You Sick and Fat!

Well well...it's that time again, autumn. It seems to have come around really quickly this year, what with a fairly wet July and an August that just whizzed by while everybody was busy tending their gardens, drinking mojitos and playing hopscotch...what? Who in the hell plays hopscotch anymore these days?!

That's not the point - that was just a random thing I threw into the mixture to keep you on your toes. Anyway, I liked rainy July and have thus far made concerted efforts to absorb the August sun while I can. Despite a less than toasty summer of 2011, good times have still been had and autumn is a perfect time to detox. The body definitely accumulates toxins from over-indulgences, but it also accumulates toxins simply from day-to-day living.

One area of toxic exposure I'd like to bring focus to is xenoestrogens. Xenoestrogens are foreign estrogens - estrogens that do not come from your body but that mimic the action of estrogen within your body. Xenoestrogens cause problems because they mess up your delicate hormonal balance. When your endocrine system is out of balance from absorbing far too many xenoestrogens, this leads to weight gain and hoarding, especially around the mid-section (belly flab!), cravings, low energy, night sweats, early onset of puberty, higher risk of female cancers, difficulty conceiving, lowered testosterone levels in men, fatigue and difficulty concentrating, lowered immunity, irregular menstruation, constipation, insomnia, lowered capacity to deal with stress...and the list goes on - !! So where are xenoestrogens found? Unfortunately, my friends, they kind of abound (I completely did not intend for that to rhyme). Here's a list of things that contain xenoestrogens:

- Plastics marked with recycling codes 3, 6 or 7. If it's a plastic container we're talking about, the recycling code is found on the bottom of the container.
-Food preservatives, pesticides and genetically modified foods.
- A great deal of commercially prepared meat. This is because the animals are often fed both antibiotics and synthetic hormones.
- Skin care products and textiles, especially cotton!

So basically you're surrounded by xenoestrogens. What can you do?

First of all, let's get rid of all the toxins that have built up in your body over time due to overexposure to nasty xenoestrogens. A detox in autumn is just what the holistic health practitioner ordered! Cleansing the system by specific, sound nutrition and in combination with herbs is the perfect way to rejuvenate and decongest all systems of the body, leading to better overall function. I have every intention of doing a detox this autumn and I'd love to tailor make a cleanse for you too. Call us at Prana Holistic to book your cleanse consultation (780.454.5299).

Secondly, make a point to be mindful with your purchases, like plastic, skin care products and clothing. There are a lot of alternatives to plastic as well as safe versions of it.  There are also environmentally friendly and organic skin care products and clothing out there. They'll be pricey in comparison to their toxin laden counterparts, but supporting the manufacturing of those goods often means supporting smaller local business' too.

Finally, be very mindful of the quality of the food you put in your body. Organic is definitely pricier, and your body and health are worth every penny of what you'll pay buying organic.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic 

Gratitude Becomes You!

I was recently blessed to participate in Kristi's Goal Ninjas program for a second time. Our group completed the program a week ago tomorrow and, once again, it was fantastic and revealing. Kristi is an insightful, knowledgeable and skilled facilitator with a brilliant ability to add perspective to all facets of life and living.
On Sunday, after the completion of the program, I had a horrible time and, as a result, felt incredibly guilty that my son may not have been enjoying a day that could have been a lot more upbeat and fun. It was sabotage Sunday - the day after incredible and profound awareness' have been had and start to try and sink in. The insights and processes that had been facilitated for me by Kristi the day before were deep and difficult to embrace. While the purpose of profound awareness is to help create positive change, there seems to be a period of fighting and struggling against what is or what could be and we resist change - this resistance being very inherent and sometimes a real source of struggle for us. I know I am not immune to this struggle and while I don't want to focus on it, I am always doing my best to learn and grow from it.

When my son, Caleb, went down for a nap on that hard day, I contemplated how everything that was causing me stress, unease and anger had absolutely nothing to do with him and how he was so undeserving of the wrath of my mood. I knew that it was up to me to turn things around as it wasn't Caleb that had changed, but ME that's TRYING to change. One of the best things to do to incite change is to take action - something one of my great mentors always reminds us of (wink, Kristi). I sat down at my computer and visited Byron Katie's website, thework.com . There are some absolutely amazing videos on there of Byron Katie facilitating the work for others and her site is a wonderful resource for anyone wanting to make it through their struggles, myself included. I did the work on myself and issues as they related to Caleb and made it through the day with much less negativity.

On Monday night I read a chapter in a stunning book I'm reading right now by Katherine Woodward Thomas called Calling In The One. The chapter was all about gratitude. Woodward Thomas tells about how once, during a really low time in her life, she made a commitment to wake up half an hour earlier than usual every day for 30 days and write 5 pages on all the things in her life she was grateful for. 5 pages! Not 3 things or 5 things or 1 page, but 5 pages! She shares on how challenging it became and how, not long into the process, she had to start digging really deep to fill up those pages. I was really inspired by this and I thought about how, in the arena of positive living, we're often encouraged to keep a gratitude journal or to consider what it is we're grateful for every day, but Woodward Thomas really took it to another level. I decided to follow suit. On Tuesday, I challenged myself to be grateful all day long. Every single thing that I saw or that occurred to me or that I perceived or thought of, I found the reason that I was grateful for it. Even and especially the things that I felt most challenged by. My day, thoughts and my overall feelings and experience were completely memorable! Suddenly, everything around me was lit up and all I could see were good things and all I could reflect upon was how absolutely blessed I am. Challenges and low times became opportunities and anger became a chance for transformation. This experience has instilled in me a belief that when it comes to gratitude, we ought to take it to a new level. One of my great mentors, mentioned previously, says that when we really want to affect change, we have to work on it every day. With gratitude, I think it needs to be absolutely constant. Especially during low times and especially if you're REALLY looking to do something differently to create a new you.

This experiment is very reflective of Byron Katie's work and how she encourages people to turn their miseries around and find what it is they are grateful for in these things. In light of my experiment - which continues by the way - I am now challenging myself to find reasons why I'm grateful for the most upsetting, disruptive and difficult experiences of my life. While I continue to struggle to find reasons for a few things in particular, so far this has been an incredibly life-altering experiment.

If you're looking for ways to move and transform your misery, might I make a few recommendations:

1. The Gratitude Experiment (as described)
2. Kristi's Goal Ninjas program
3. The Work, by Byron Katie
4. Calling In The One, by Katherine Woodward Thomas

All of these pursuits, if done with intent and a genuine desire for change are REAL platforms for just that: positive change. I encourage you to BE the person of your wildest dreams. Today.

I am grateful for having written this blog post because it has helped me to reflect on my own journey towards greater awareness and personal change. Thank you for reading.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic