I am in the midst of repeating this cycle yet again in my life and am at the "struggle for what feels like a long time to get back up and dust myself off" stage, and dealing with some residual self-defeatist and self-deprecating thoughts and behaviors. I can tell that despite my repeating this redundant cycle, I've definitely progressed in the big picture because I have absolutely no desire to feed energy to the completely falling off the wagon and wallowing in my own crap stages. Previously, I would talk about my seeming failures as though they were a pervasive disease - and I suppose they can be if we spend too much time focusing on them. Of course, talking about my falls and the accompanying self-loathing only works to make those things persist. Just last night, I heard myself say: "I'm so sick of hearing myself talk!" - this was with regards to the potential of talking to anyone about what I have recently perceived to be a failure in my life. At this rate, I'd rather just do the work, which is what Pressfield's book is all about.
The stages of my cyclical story from "I'm doing good so I tell myself that I deserve "a break" to "I struggle for what feels like a long time to get back up" are all about resistance. AND, resistance is completely normal! Hurray! I'm "normal"! Pressfield notes that resistance is "most commonly elicited [in response to]...any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity." So...perfect, right? Anything we seek to do that is "good" and that seeks to improve ourselves will be met with incredible resistance. Sounds daunting. Part of me just wants to hang up my self-improvement kit and call it a day. For good. The other part of me is finally showing a desire to rise to the challenge. At the very least I can know that based on the amount of resistance I'm currently experiencing, I'm on the right track. Pressfield's "Rule of thumb" confirms that I'm on the right track: "The more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it."
Pressfield does a really good job of letting readers know that failure is not only normal, but a good sign. I mindfully wiped my brow when I read the following that absolutely deserves to stand on it's own:
"A crash means we have failed. We gave it everything we had and we came up short. A crash does not mean we are losers. A crash means we have to grow. A crash means we're at the threshold of learning something, which means we're getting better, we're acquiring the wisdom of our craft. A crash compels us to figure out what works and what doesn't work - and to understand the difference."
I've often wished there was a more glamorous final point. Something more along the lines of: pass go, collect $200, sit on the beach with a margarita and your goal will fall at your feet. But oh no, pursuing your unique calling and your personal and lasting happiness is like being 21 and working 3 jobs to save up to go traveling - you never rest. But once you get to Europe, it's all the more wonderful 'cause you did the work to get there! It was hard and long and you were tired, strung out and uncomfortable, but you did it! (Well I did anyways and in deed, Europe was awesome.)
If you'd like support doing your work, I'd certainly suggest investigating any of Kristi's Goal Ninjas programs as well as Steven Pressfield's book, Do The Work. Beyond those resources, there are a wealth of things you can do to heal and support yourself as you move more and more authentically towards the life of your dreams. Give us a call at Prana Holistic today to explore your options.
Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic
