Stress: Your Mental Perceptions. So How Can You Cope?

Stress: BLAH! For the most part, not many of us can claim to be non-stressed. Perhaps in a single moment, your perception of the world and yourself does not include an overpowering feeling of stress, but surely, as your day proceeds, you can notice at least some experience of stress. Some people proceed through their days in a constant state of feeling "stressed out". Even "good" things can create an experience of stress that perhaps we consider to be "good" stress. I don't suppose "good" stress is something worth trying to change. Rather, it's our experience of "bad" stress that we all need help coping with. Stress inevitably leads to ill-health that can manifest as minor aches and pains, colds and flu (since stress depletes the immune system), chronic conditions and even degenerative illnesses. It is estimated that 90 per cent of illnesses and disease are related to stress - no kidding!

So where does stress start? Stress is a mental perception, so I do believe that it starts within our mental faculties of being. For example, when Caleb (my son) throws his food on the floor, I perceive stress, which I feel physically and that sometimes gives me a feeling as though I'm going to explode in anger (as embarrassing as that is for me to admit, let's be honest here). Meanwhile, I see how Caleb's dad interacts with him, and he is very laid back and non-reactive while Caleb throws his food around and makes a mess: he simply lets Caleb know that that's not okay, and proceeds with life. In reality, nothing is being altered to the point of negatively affecting my life nor is anyone being hurt when Caleb throws his food on the floor, so why do I perceive stress? Well, my mom keeps a very clean house and has always spent lots of time and energy maintaining that and clearly perceiving stress when it's not that way. Now, before proceeding, let me clarify that I adored my childhood, I love my mother dearly and I know damn well that we, as parents, do the very best that we can with the resources that are available to us in each passing moment. I say all that in order that it doesn't seem that I'm placing blame when I say that surely, that's where my mental perception of: messy house = stress, is coming from.

Now, I realize that changing the mental belief that a messy house is stressful is what is really necessary in order that this not ride me like it does. I mean, Caleb's a toddler and I best be getting used to messes if I want to proceed through his childhood with ease and minimal stress. In the meantime, I need to focus on how I can cope with my perception of stress in response to Caleb's creating messes. There are many ways of coping with stress to the best of your ability. At the end of the day, the fact that stress is a part of daily living is not going to change, it's OUR way of coping, thinking and behaving that is subject to change. I'm going to encourage you to start with deep abdominal breathing. For a more in depth explanation, please check out my most recent column: Take A Deep Breath... for SEE Magazine. For a video on how to do deep abdominal breathing and for more tips and ideas on how to reduce your stress, please check out The Ultimate Stress Seminar: this also offers you the opportunity to sign up for Kristi and I's upcoming FREE teleseminar dedicated to helping you live an easy and stress-free life. Finally, for help with changing your thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you stressed out (ie: messy house = stress), please check out Goal Ninjas: Kristi's passionate pursuit to lead you on a journey towards the life you crave!

What are your most regular perceptions of stress? What are your best ways of coping with perceived stress? Your comments are really important to us, so do us a favour and leave one...or two...or more! We want to hear from you!

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Rescue Remedy: An Acute Saviour in Times of Need

Rescue Remedy is Edward Bach’s answer to acute times of trauma and stress. Edward Bach was the founder of the practice of flower essences. He spent lots of time with nature, figuring out what each flower and their ‘essences’ (ie: energetic contributions) lend to the human spirit and it’s many ails. Rescue Remedy, in particular, is something you may have noticed on the shelf at a health food store and maybe, you wondered what it was all about. Well, it’s a combination of 5 flower essences, each lending supportive qualities to moments of acute stress and trauma. Without delving into the components of each flower within the combo, let me just list times when the use of Rescue Remedy would be most appropriate:

- when experiencing intense nerves before a public speaking engagement, heavy exam or difficult conversation

- before attending a funeral or other emotional event

- in the wake of a traumatic accident or a loss

- to help adjust when moving, changing jobs or shifting a primary relationship

- to put in your plant’s soil or in your pet’s water when moving or integrating change (to help them adjust)

- as a parent, when losing patience or finding yourself ‘on edge’

- in the midst of an intense emotional reaction due to specific events or that seems to have no rhyme or reason

Rescue Remedy should be taken as follows for any of the above noted reasons: put 6 drops under your tongue and allow the drops to linger there while closing your eyes and taking 3 deep breaths in order that the essence integrates effectively into your being. The Flower Essence Society also produces an equivalent to Rescue Remedy called 5-Flower-Formula. Both are formidable to have on hand in times of acute need. I suggest carrying one of either of these around with you in your bag or car as well as keeping one at home. Try it…and let me know what you think.

Roberta Shepherd for Prana Holistic

Holiday Survival Guide

I love my family. I get a lot of joy from being with them and I look forward to Christmas because of it. But not everybody gets renewed and supported by their family, and holidays can be a bit of a torturous event because of it (I've heard). So here are some ideas to keep your holidays merry and bright.

• Bring a good book that inspires you and helps create a feeling of peace and balance. Try Spiritual Liberation, by Michael Beckwith. Read a bit in the morning before facing the day to keep you focused on your inner joy so the potential outer chaos has less of an effect on you. Buy Spiritual Liberation on Amazon here.

• Decide what reactions you have that are causing the most stress. At night, track your "Wins" for the day - the times you managed to resist reacting the way you typically do. You will be amazed how often your failing to react the way you typically do changes other people's behavior. There is actual brain research that people can become addicted to negative attention they get from your reactions and subconsciously seek it out. Don't give in, and they will often stop the seeking behavior. Crazy, eh?

• Eat protein with each meal and avoid carb overload, and spend time in the fresh air. You need energy to deal with some people!

• If all else fails, here is a great "special" Christmas hot chocolate recipe from whattodrink.com to help you get through the rough patches (no, I am not advocating drinking as a coping mechanism, but c'mon - it's Christmas!) :


• 2 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
• 0.5 oz Ameretto
• 5 oz. Hot Chocolate
• Add all ingredients into a coffee mug, stir well, top with whip cream, enjoy!

• Enjoy your holidays, however you manage to do that!